Last Updated on June 3, 2020
1. Relationship problems and substance abuse
The Buffalo Newlywed Study came to show that there is a correlation between drinking problems and aggressive behavior.
After interviewing more than 400 couples regarding their drinking habits and patterns of violence, Dr. Brian M. Quigley, a researcher at the Research Institute on Addictions, was able to prove that people who drink in the early stages of their marital life are more likely to later become abusive.
And how does this happen? Well, if one of the people involved in the relationship is a heavy drinker and the other is not, this issue alone will be enough to cause a lot of turbulence in the relationship, leading to arguments that can escalate to physical aggression in the future.
2. Relationship Problems
Every relationship has its ups and downs, even the healthiest ones. What is a real cause for concern is when there is a particular pattern of violence in a relationship, whether it’s physical or psychological. Take something as simple as the feeling of jealousy.
Somehow, we have been programmed to think that the fact that our partner feels jealous is flattering, that it is a mere expression of love. But is it? Or is it one of the warning signs of a controlling partner?
All of a sudden, this feeling is not as simple anymore – jealousy can escalate into controlling where their partner goes, who they talk to, what they wear, and how they conduct themselves. All of this, while making them think that they are doing it out of love.
This manipulation, when it’s constant, rapidly turns into abuse. Because if the victim doesn’t do as they are told, their aggressor will feel entitled to raise their voice, and then their fist.
Abuse is so normalized that the first line of thought will be to find new ways to justify their behavior and to forgive them. Because society has raised everyone on this impossible notion that sustaining a relationship, no matter how toxic it is, is the only path to success – the relationship must survive, even if you don’t.
