Last Updated on January 19, 2021
© Reader’s Digest
When it comes to love there are no real relationship experts. Everyone has their different opinions that can serve as bad advice to other people.
Normally people’s opinions and relationship tips depend on their own experiences with love. If one of your friends is happily engaged, and the other one has just been cheated on, they’ll probably tell you two completely different pieces of relationship advice.
Even though you should listen to what other people have to say, you shouldn’t believe it’s the truth.
Couple therapists learn to distance themselves from their profession, also, they don’t know you personally, so any advice they might give you is much more truthful than what your friends or family might say.
So let’s take a look at some of the worst relationship advice ever!
1. Your “soulmate” or “perfect match” is out there
Even though it’s always nice to believe in fairytale endings and that your charming prince will appear someday, it’s not something that usually happens.
Think about it, a soulmate can present itself in many ways. It can be a family member, a best friend or your lover. But even your favorite person on this earth will have flaws. The perfect match doesn’t already exist, you’re the one that has to form a solid relationship with the person you love.
So, do soulmates exist? They might, but you shouldn’t rely on them. Instead, think that it’s up to you to find that person and keep remembering that nobody’s perfect.
2. You should know how to play hard to get
This advice is mostly given to women, although men are picking up on it as well, which can be annoying because if two people are just “playing” hard to get, then nobody is going to get anything!
Girls, you might want to play hard to get, we get it, it makes men go crazy and you enjoy that, but playing hard to get doesn’t mean you don’t have to show interest.
Some people don’t enjoy these silly games, and they won’t chase after you. It might be fun for a little while as long as you show you also like them in return, not just ignore them and be mean to them all the time! Keep it flirtatious and short!
3. A romantic relationship should be easy
A relationship can be easy in terms of connection, which means you two get along smoothly, but that doesn’t mean your relationship is or should be easy.
Even if you find your other half, you’re going to disagree on a lot of things and fight a lot, problems are meant to arise and disturb this “relationship easiness” that you two possess.
At the end of the day, these problems are the ones that end up solidifying your relationship or breaking it. It’s up to you and your partner to get over all the bad stuff and continue stronger than ever, that’s how you build a successful relationship.
4. The man or whoever has more financial security should pay
Different generations will have different opinions. However, we live in a modern world, where women fight daily for equality so why should a man always pay? Even if the man earns more money?
It’s always fair to split, especially on first dates. Or, if you agree to go see a movie, one of you gets the tickets and the other one buys the popcorn and other snacks. It’s only fair right?
If a man really wants to pay, the least you can do is offer to pay your part, and if he doesn’t let you, just tell him you’ll pay for the next date. Compromise and fairness in a relationship is a big deal, and if both of you compromise from the start it’s a very good sign.
5. Age doesn’t matter
Even though you’re free to date whomever you want, small age gap relationships are known to last longer. And the explanation for that is quite simple: you grow up with the same references and will be experiencing new stages in life together.
When you date an older man or woman, it’s like they’re one step ahead of you, and we agree it can be fascinating to be with someone with more knowledge and maturity, but what happens when you want to have kids in your twenties and you’re dating someone a lot older?
And even if you do have kids, by the time they want to run around and play all day, are you both going to have the same energy to do it?
Whether you care about age gap dating or not it’s up to you. We’re not saying it’s wrong, but there are a lot of factors that can be problematic in the present and mostly future if you decide to be with someone a lot older.
6. You should forgive and forget
Forgiving is extremely necessary, forgetting not so much.
It’s pretty easy to get over something if you just forget it, but forgiving actually takes time and healing. The difference is when you forgive you’re moving on with your relationship, but when you’re forgetting you’re simply ignoring the problem and that’s one of the many signs of an unhealthy relationship.
7. Wait for the other person to make the first move
It’s normal to be nervous, we are all humans. Regardless of your gender, it can be quite scary making the first move, because when doing so, you’re being vulnerable, showing you have an interest in someone not knowing if they like you back.
It is tough, but making a decision is always better than not making one. If you wait for the other person, you might be waiting forever. So why not risk it even if it ends in rejection? At least you tried, and you won’t have to wonder anymore.
8. Your kids are the main focus
Once you have kids, it can be harder to keep focused on your own relationship with your partner. However, you shouldn’t think about kids as the main focus. The main focus should be your family relations as a whole, meaning the relationship with your kids and your relationship with your partner.
What’s important is maintaining all relationships working, so everyone’s happy. And if you teach your kids to do the same, then you’ll have everyone feeling happy and complete.
Kids will respond better to love and have a positive view on it if their parents have not only a successful marriage but a loving happy marriage as well.
9. One first date isn’t enough to tell if you like someone
If you don’t get along on the first date with someone, how do you expect anything other than a toxic relationship with that person?
First dates are all about getting to know each other, and during the first 5 seconds you can already tell just by your intuition if you like that person or not.
Best case scenario, you might find your date cute and interesting which automatically books a second date. Or, you can also find your date interesting and love their personality but you don’t feel attracted to them, in that case, you can still have a long term relationship, but as friends.
There are three things that must check if you want a long term relationship: mental, physical and emotional connection. If you don’t feel at least one of these, don’t fool yourself thinking it can get better, because it won’t.
10. If you feel chemistry you’re meant for each other
Feeling sparks, butterflies in your stomach or great adrenaline when you’re with someone might feel amazing but that alone doesn’t mean you two are meant to be.
Chemistry between people often means you’re attracted to that person, the attraction might be enough for one night stand but when it comes to a serious relationship or being in love you’ll need much more than that. Just remember to take things slow and see if there’s more to it.
After reading this, we sincerely hope you understand that you shouldn’t consider any advice to be perfect, even if it comes from an older or more experienced person.
We all view relationships in different ways, we all have different tastes and goals. If you truly want to know how to be in a happy relationship, the answer might be following your own heart and intuition.
