We don’t need to preach you on something you already know or underestimate your intelligence, but sometimes, some among you tend to be a bit stupid or pretend to be so. This is a good strategy of denial which you don’t need now. This is the case of relationships.
We often feel that we reach a closed path, yet we force ourselves to break through the walls of the unbreakable.
We all go through stressful situations and try to maintain a relationship or marriage, but let us face it, sometimes things are just too messed up to be fixed by few sessions with local therapists.
Divorcees do realize now that they were ignoring quite a lot of red flags that signified their marriages were over even before filing for divorce. The interesting fact is that relationship building takes time, but ironically, relationship destroying takes no time.
Before getting a divorce, divorcees thought everything was fixable, and time will heal all bruises.
Being parts of successful relationships is not an easy thing though, and instead of turning your past happy relationship into a source of pain, end the whole thing. Divorcees say they were ignoring these 5 signs. Let us find out about them together!
#1 – Alarming sign 1: loss of voice in the relationship
We know that reaching the level of being ready for a fresh new start and finding happiness again after a divorce battle is hard. Maybe, this is what discourages many couples to stick together despite the fact that the true romance sparkle is gone with the wind.
Once you lose your voice in the relationship, you lose the key to a happy marriage. This is something clarified by divorcees. But what does it mean to own a voice in a relationship? It means that you have a point of view about everything.
Once you ignore your inner voice for expression to just avoid fights with your partner, then this is not a happy relationship any more.
Some would explain and justify this silence by the core of being in love, but it never was and never will be. A happy marriage is supposed to be built on mutual expression of opinions from both parties under all circumstances.
#2 – Alarming sign 2: the reference to the other partner by his or her name evaporates
It takes just some intellectual efforts to analyze and identify a falling-apart or bad relationship. This could start even during the first months of marriage (in fact, some divorcees said they experienced this even during honeymoon, but they chose to ignore the whole thing).
When your partner stops calling or referring to you by your name, and uses instead an anonymous, insulting and dehumanizing pronoun like he or she, you’d better walk out of the door before you get really hurt.
The core definition of love and happiness in marriage involves two ingredients: love and respect. Love generates respects; so if you are referred to as a he or she, it means respect is absent, and, therefore, love is gone. You might be thinking now: ‘oh, come on! That is silly!’ Well, dear, this is just your mind trying to manipulate you.
#3 – Alarming sign 3: the ugly truth embodied in having different expectations
Everybody looks forward to having a serious relationship with a simple touch of romance, but you should not expect a perfect romance tale. When a relationship reaches a serious level, it is often concluded by marriage.
You, therefore, enter into the marital world with loads of expectations. This is not the kind of positive attitude you are supposed to be equipped with though. Before you decide to marry someone, you need to reveal all your cards, lower your high expectations a bit and communicate more.
These are regarded as the rules for a happy marriage. Divorcees did not think of this when they said yes, but you still have a clear choice and chance before even saying yes.
#4 – Alarming sign 4: lack of gratitude (not even a thank-you-phrase)
The lack of gratitude would kill any love bird. Being grateful for what your partner does for you is one integral part of the definition of being in love. Divorcees state that their partners used to thank and smile at them when doing the slightest favors for them.
Over time, those favors became more or less like habits which lost their charm and magic. They, then, heard no thank-you-phrase and seen no gratitude smile. This signified that their marriages were on the verge.
Not thanking or being thanked for something done within the framework of a marital relationship reflects the loss of invested interest and attention. Partners start looking for appreciation somewhere else. In other words, they cheat.
#5 – Alarming sign 5: refusal to address past issues impacting present marital relationships
The past is gone, and what happened there should remain imprisoned there. However, some past troubles succeed in getting into people’s lives in the present. The worse scenario is when carrying these past issues and kicking off a relationship, then a marriage.
Divorcees say their partners brought into their marriages the problems they faced in their childhood, yet they refused to address them or work things out. Throughout time, these issues got accumulated.
The fact that these partners kept their problems to themselves destroyed their marriages. What is a life partner for anyway if you cannot lay your head on his or her shoulder and unload everything, trying to find a solution for what is troubling you?
Don’t give in to the illusion that things will be fine, surely not at the expense of your self-esteem. If you are with someone, yet you are unhappy; it is time to question this relationship instead of burying yourself alive.