Last Updated on March 8, 2018
Many people feel like their marriage is on the rocks, not knowing whether they should keep on fighting or just give up the person that they have been sharing their life with. But, if none of you want “out” yet, then there is still a big chance to save your marriage and bring the love and the passion back.
With a little hard work and dedication, your spouse will be yours again and “living happily ever after” can still be true. Plus, let us give you one more reason that will stop you from leaving: Divorce will destroy your finances, literally!
Going along with the divorce will make you regret the day you chose to leave instead of bringing back the love between you and your spouse. You don’t want to end up broke and alone, right? So we gathered for you 7 most Effective steps that will save your marriage (your money too!).
1Figure out what is wrong
This is the first thing you must do before you make any further step because you can’t move forward without understanding what is holding you back. First of all, you have to accept that no one is perfect and every human is flawed, and these flaws may get in the way of a healthy relationship. So take a step back, and think hard about what went wrong.
There are many common issues that expose most married couples into fights and divorce, such as finances problems, infidelity, a sudden change in someone’s life (like the death of a loved one), lack of communication, and an undesirable intimate interaction. Once you figure out what went wrong, you can now understand where you can start fixing things.
You can wait for the perfect opportunity to get your spouse’s attention to open up and talk about the relationship and figure out how they feel.
You can wait until the weekend or just after dinner, create a safe space to ease the “opening up” part, you can show a little effort by making tea or coffee, and make sure you will both be completely alone, and in case you don’t know how to start the conversation, you can ask questions like “how do you feel about our relationship?”
During the conversation, secure your temper, avoid any words that may upset your spouse, and always count to three before you answer to give yourself time to think about what they said.
Also, make sure to not accuse him/her of anything, and instead of using the words ME or I, focus more on using WE.
3Spend Time Together
A successful marriage is when the couple can still enjoy spending time alone. So plan a date and make sure to wear their favorite suit/dress, add extra perfume, and avoid any subjects that may trigger fights or any disagreement during the date, just focus on enjoying time together to remind them of the reasons why you both fell in love.
Instead of dates, you can always workout together, whether in the gym, at home, or outside. Creating a physical activity will help you support and push each other further for a healthier life.
Amazingly, after every workout, our bodies release many hormones that make us happy and satisfied which will help both of you to be grateful for the experience, and honestly, it is the best way to take advantage of our hormones. Plus, you can hop to a hot shower together after the workout, I heard it saves water! “Wink Wink”
By spending some time apart, you can try finding your own hobbies independently, create a room to think clearly and to experience many things in order to not lose who you are. This way, your relationship will have a better chance to be rebuilt again with full awareness of the value of personal independence.
The best part about spending time apart is giving a chance to miss each other and create curiousness to find out more about the new things or the new experiences you have been going through when you were apart, which helps to increase communication and a pure happiness when it comes to sharing your hobbies and experiences with your spouse, who is starting to show interest in you and your life.
5Passionate Texts (with examples)
In order to bring the romance back to your marriage, you can click only a few buttons on your cell phone and then enjoy the passion you are missing. By starting a heated conversation, you create a private and a safe room for having an intimate connection between you and your spouse where no one can bother you.
In case you want an inspiration, we brought some of our favorite texts that helped many couples to relive the joy of being intimate:
• I feel so lucky to have you… You and Me, together tonight! “Winky face”.
• Hey beautiful/handsome, I can’t wait to kiss you when you come home later. Love you.
• Hey you, I can’t wait to set my eyes on your gorgeous/hot body again later tonight. Have a good day!
• Remember that place where we fooled around (Insert place)? I kind of want to go there again “winky face”
• I LOVED the shirt you wore today; I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.
• I don’t say it very often, but I love you (and your bu*t, too!) “heart Emoji”
Life is throwing our way many obstacles that gloom our thoughts and make us forget to appreciate our significant other. In order to fix this issue, start with a gesture that will make them feel lucky to have such a thoughtful husband/wife as you are. These gestures are simple and easy to adapt, it is your chance to feel like a teenager again.
To impress your spouse, think of something creative that will make them feel “the butterflies in their stomachs”, for example:
• Send a bouquet of flowers to their office.
• Write them a romantic letter and remind them of the Romeo and Juliette’s love.
• Surprise them with dinner, candles, and music after they get home at night.
• Buy them a dress/suit with a note indicating where you are going to meet them tonight expecting them to wear it.
This step is optional and it is preferred when all the couple’s attempts to fix the marriage seem to fail. Seeking professional help will help both partners to realize many issues that are not visible to them because they are too invested in the relationship.
This step may not be a delightful idea to your spouse, but with understanding all their reasons and fears, you may find a way to prove them that there is nothing to worry about or to be embarrassed of.
The marriage counseling may be the last option to save your marriage since the counselor has no skin in the game, and a better perspective of all issues that represent obstacles on your path.