Last Updated on October 31, 2020
Everyone is unique just the way they are. And if you’re in a serious relationship, your partner shouldn’t have to tell you that you need to change to suit their tastes, after all, if they’re with you it’s because they love you as you are, right?
Unfortunately, a lot of people get into what seems to be a happy relationship at first and turn it into a toxic relationship by trying to change their partner’s values or other aspects that make them who they are.
Of course, this is a characteristic of an unhealthy relationship, and it needs to stop!
So, without any further ado, if your partner asks you to change one of these following things about yourself, dump them ASAP!
1. The way you look
One of the things your partner should never ask you to change is, of course, your appearance. After all, they’ve met you before deciding to date you!
If your partner comments about something you cannot change or makes you feel insecure about your body, you know he is not the right one for you. However, if your partner nicely encourages you to be healthier when you’re overweight, there is no harm in that.
2. Your political views
Discussing politics is something that always ends up in discussions and not pretty ones.
When it comes to politics, there’s a simple way to avoid a messy discussion, and that’s agreeing to disagree.
Of course, expressing your point of view and opinion is important, and your partner deserves to understand why something is so important to you. But they shouldn’t try to change your view, especially with insults or by mocking you.
There’s something that’s called respect, and that’s the base for any healthy relationship, so if you feel like that’s not being given to you, then they don’t deserve you.
3. Religion
Of course, religion is on this list as one of the things you should never change for your partner. Again, you are your own person.
And if your partner is not religious or doesn’t follow the same religion as you, there’s no reason to break up as long as you respect each other’s beliefs. If that doesn’t happen, it can lead to a lot of relationship problems in the future, which is why religion is something to be discussed calmly and respectfully.
4. Your job or career
This one can go both ways. Your partner might want you to change jobs or even switch to a different work area because you’re not getting paid enough, or they can feel threatened and intimidated that you’re getting more money than they are.
If any of these affirmations ring a bell, then you’re probably with a toxic person. Your partner should support you in what you enjoy doing, whether you gain a lot of money or not, that’s not their business as long as you’re happy.
5. What you wear
Some men especially have a habit of judging what you wear, especially if you’re going out without them.
They blame it on jealousy and insecurity, but a jealous partner can become a controlling one, and the fact that they are insecure about you showing some skin only shows they don’t fully trust you to begin with. So, these so-called “excuses” end up having zero credibility.
Your partner should lift your self-confidence, not bring it down.
6. Your friends
Let’s think of a scenario. You have three friends whom you love to death and a boyfriend that you also love a lot, but for some reason, your boyfriend seems to have a problem with your friends.
Is it acceptable that they ask you to cut ties with them? The answer is, of course not!
You’re the one who has to choose who you want in your life, and if your friends make you happy and you enjoy being with them, you shouldn’t feel pressured by anyone to end your friendship with them. If anything, you should end it with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
7. Your passions
In a successful and healthy relationship, your partner should support you on anything you enjoy doing because they want to see you happy and share that happiness with you, right?
Even though this happens in most relationships, we still live in a world where some people are way too selfish and only care about how they feel and what their personal preferences are.
So if you enjoy dancing and they make fun of that, or if you love to draw, but they belittle your talent, then you’re dating the wrong person.
8. Your personality
Last but not least, we have ‘’personality,” the thing that makes you, you!
So, the question here is: how can you possibly have a long-lasting relationship with someone that doesn’t even like who you are? Because if they ask you to be less stubborn or take less time showering in the morning is one thing, if it means the relationship will improve because of it.
But for your partner to pick on things that make you who you are is a whole different thing.
Want relationship advice? Don’t ever feel like you need to change what makes you unique for anyone else but yourself.
To sum it up, if your partner wants to change you, why would you even want to be with them?
A relationship is not supposed to be a “build your perfect lover” type of thing.
In fact, a successful relationship only happens when both people accept each other and their differences as well. After all, how boring would it be if you and your partner had the same personality and passions? You both would stay inside your comfort zone. And you know what they say; the best experiences are always outside that zone.
So please don’t let your self-esteem go down just because your current partner is not letting you live the life you want to live. Instead, move on, and you’ll see how happy you will become!
