There’s no more perfect time to shed more light on this very important topic than October (the domestic violence awareness month.) Sadly, anyone can experience the signs of domestic violence, from youngsters to seniors.
Unlike what most people believe, one doesn’t have to be married or living with their partner to endure intimate abuse; it may happen to a new couple who barely know each other, in a serious long-term relationship, or even while still dating.
When we are in a relationship, it’s often hard to judge it clearly and we’re likely to miss the signs which try to tell us we need to end it ASAP. An abusive relationship can leave unnecessary scars while turning our life as well as mental health upside down.
That’s why you need to know the warning signs of domestic abuse, whether it’s your relationship or that of your friends. No one deserves to be abused! Let’s stand up for the victims of domestic violence.
#1 – An Abuser Will Always Monitor Your Comings And Goings
If your partner is always asking you to share your location or don’t stop calling and texting you whenever you’re away from them, then you should start worrying whether you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship.
Also, they may check your phone without asking for your permission and do thorough searches over your entire history, be it on a computer or smartphone. All of this means that they are control freaks and they won’t rest until you lose your privacy.
Once such signs repeat themselves or as soon as you feel like losing your privacy, you should leave the abusive relationship before it’s too late. Note that an abuser will do their best to convince you how they care about you while justifying their hideous acts, so make sure to trust your gut or ask for help.
#2 – An Abuser Will Try Their Best To Isolate You From Your Friends And Family
Abusers tend to try every possible way, even the most romantic ones, to isolate their partners from friends and family members. Besides the fact that having no social life is very unhealthy and may lead to mental health issues, no one ever has the right to keep you away from the people you trust and love.
By doing this, the abuser intends to make you an easy-going victim because once you’re alone, you’re more likely to accept their whole agenda.
Stay alert and say no to the things that don’t feel right in your heart. If your partner won’t hear you out or change their controlling behavior, make sure to leave or call someone you trust.
There are many types of domestic violence and preventing you from living a normal life is one of them.
#3 – An abuser will have multiple ways of making you feel worthless
Your soulmate, spouse, or date (even if you met via a dating app) is supposed to treat you extremely well and make you feel amazing, especially when it comes to your self-worth.
Plus, they should boost your mood on gloomy days and care a lot about how you feel. On the dark side, an abuser would insist on making you feel worthless, inferior, and dumb.
Emotional abuse is real and no one deserves to feel worthless! No matter how you may think you love that person, they’re absolutely not allowed to abuse you and you’re so much better off without them in your life.
#4 – An abuser shows extreme jealousy
A little bit of jealousy is harmless and may even add more fun to the relationship, but too much of it can be harmful, suffocating, and even abusive.
If your partner goes as far as falsely accusing you of flirting with or looking at other people or they get insanely possessive of your attention, then you’re in an abusive relationship and you better find a way out.
Abusers do the exact opposite of what normal people do in healthy relationships where both sides are trusted to be socially active.
#5 – An abuser is prone to sudden outbursts
If you’re dating an abuser, you’d notice that they have severe mood swings. One time they want to offer you the world and the next thing you know they want to destroy your entire world. Plus, you never really know which one you’re about to see.
Life with such a person is maddening and confusing, yet, a lot of people stick around for the “sweet phases,” which is wrong. If you can relate to this, then you should know that you deserve better!
#6 – An abuser will try to control your money
If your partner is regularly monitoring your finances or setting limits to how much you should have or spend of your own money, then they are definitely an abuser.
Taking control over your money is another sign of domestic abuse, where the abuser makes sure to keep you around and make you become helplessly silent.
Only you should have control over your own income. Don’t let your partner make you financially miserable so you can depend on their existence. Stay financially independent or ask for help if you can no longer tolerate your partner’s behavior.
#7 – An abuser may physically hurt you
Physical abuse is one devastating type of domestic violence. This may mean that the victim is enduring strangling, kicking, grabbing, hitting, slapping, or anything in between.
Such behavior is absolutely not acceptable and the victim should be alarmed from the very first time it happens, it doesn’t matter if you were already arguing or any other excuse because physically abusing someone is simply not OK!
#8 – An abuser may emotionally hurt you
Besides destroying your self-esteem and making you feel worthless, an abuser can also give you the deadly silent treatment, insult you, threaten you, or maybe stalk you. Whether it’s happening online or offline, you are a victim and you should consider getting a restraining order for your own safety.
#9 – An abuser can go as far as to force themselves on you
Victims of domestic violence can also experience sexual harassment, coercion into sexual acts, or plain rape. An abuser can also make birth control inaccessible to forcefully make the woman pregnant. If this isn’t a pure devilish crime, I don’t know what is!
If you’re a victim, please don’t hesitate to call the domestic violence hotline and reach out to family or friends for help.
#10 – An abuser will apologize endlessly to try to win you back
An abuser won’t be able to handle losing you (and we don’t mean in the romantic way.) If your abuser doubts that you may leave them forever, they will turn on their angelic face, be sweet, apologize endlessly, promise you heaven, swear that they’ll change, and blame all their terrible acts on other people or events.
Long story short, do not believe any of it. Keep in mind that remembering the old good times will not keep the abuser from abusing once again.
Victims of domestic or dating abuse shouldn’t be afraid or embarrassed to speak up, it’s the only way we can stop violence against women and help those in need. If you can relate to any part of this article, make sure to ask for help or call the domestic violence hotline.
You’re not alone! Also, please share this information with anyone who may need to read it and leave any helpful tips or advice in the comment section.